I hope you are fine and enjoying life now that the Corona Crisis seems to be over for now - for us here in Switzerland.
What has this crisis aught you, what do you want to keep in your life and what could you get rid of?
A crisis is always also a chance – a chance to let go of the old, let new things unfold and differentiate between what is good for us – and what isnʼt. This is an important difference and not always as easily identified as one might think.
Itʼs been a time to rest and slow down (except for those of us, who have
small children and an almost full-time job at home!
I really admire you!) and to decide what we want to take with us in this next phase, on the inside and on the outside.
I decided on the drama. That is, I consciously made the decision to get rid of the drama in my life. My drama, your drama, our drama – out the window! Donʼt want it back. It took a conscious decision against all the dramatics and a conscious decision not to participate in these old drama games anymore.
I can never change another person, we all know that. And yet we try. We try to change them, so that they will better suit and please us. And what we convey, is that we donʼt think they are good enough the way they are.
That has nothing to do with love. Love would be accepting them as they are. And if we are unable to do that, because it isnʼt right for us, we need to face the consequences: I accept you the way you are, but I wonʼt play along in your games anymore. It always takes two. If I donʼt play along, if I consciously step out of the game, the other person will be left standing alone with his / her drama. That is not half as much fun!
It was hugely liberating! It felt so good to neither run away, end the friendship, nor do anything else dramatic, but to just decide for myself. In some cases, this
decision needs to be communicated and discussed with the person involved,
but in others we can solve it on our own.
The work is bearing fruit. One relationship is now better than ever and all the others feel (even) more relaxed:
I donʼt have to. It is his / her drama. It is not a sign of love to get involved in other peopleʼs drama – on the contrary,
it doesnʼt do anybody any good! Neither me nor the other person: I canʼt do the "work" for him / her, only waste my energy unnecessarily and also he / she is very much capable of dealing with their own drama themselves! If he / she wants to.
And if not, it is their own free will.
Which drama – yours or someone elseʼs - are you stuck in?
Do you need it? Is it doing you any good? Or can you let it go? Are you afraid that the relationship end if you donʼt play
the old game anymore? It is worthwhile taking inventory in order to really be free.
With this, I wish you a nice, relaxing and drama free summer!