Letting go is a big subject. A client once told me: “I'll only call you “Miss Let Go” from now on – that is all you and the Angels ever tell me!”
Letting go is never easy and 2018 was full of letting go. Of goodbyes to people, places, ideas and things. For many it was hard: Loved ones left us, we lost jobs or apartments or had other struggles or we found ourselves questioning just about everything: Our ideas, our ideals, our thoughts, feelings and belief systems. Yes, for many of us it was like the hard disk had to be emptied and cleaned up completely so that the new, adequate software could be loaded onto it, in order for it to function properly.
New software doesn't like old operating systems.
It's hard to let go. Even babies quickly learn to hold on to a person's finger with all their might, letting go doesn't seem very natural to us. But it is also liberating. Extremely. Once you're past the part of panic, grudge, anxiety and all the rest it can be quite a relief. I don't need it anymore! Never again! Gone - with the wind! Yiihaa!
It is an uplifting feeling not having to carry a heavy burden anymore – all of us carry something, at the very best a backpack, some of us pull trailers behind us and others seem to be struggling trying to pull a loaded freight train behind them. That's not easy. But the fear of letting go, of “What would I be without this?” seems to be dominant and facing that fear nearly impossible. I know what it is like. I know what it is like to face your fears and preferring to do almost anything but look it in the eye. Surprisingly enough, once we do, it's usually not as scary. Not as scary as we thought. The Fear of Fear is usually greater than Fear itself. The same goes for pain, absence and all the rest: our fear of those things, the fear of pain or of losing something dear to us, is usually worse than actually losing it.
In German we say: "Wer loslässt, hat die Hände frei!" (He who lets go, has his hands free.)
Would you like to have your hands free? What would you like to get rid of? It is New Year's Eve after all. Time for letting go and for making New Year's Resolutions. Practically speaking these resolutions are overrated and usually a very good way for fitness centres to make a lot of money (Who has ever bought an annual subscription after the holidays thinking “I will put my New Year's resolution into practice, get fit and lose some wait?” Lots of people have. And after the first few months the fitness centres get emptier and emptier...). But I like them anyway. Not in the sense of “I have to change this”, but as a way of looking back at your life, or at least this last year, and do some sorting out: What do I want to keep? What was good? What was fun, made me laugh or gave me a good, warm, fuzzy feeling? And what didn't? What felt like crap? Which people are – I am sorry to say – really not good for me? Do I like my job / my apartment / my dog...? You get the picture.
And what would you like more of? What has been missing in your life that you would love to discover, get a taste of?
What would you like to invite into your life?
You can also, but really don't have to, go deeper: Do I still believe what I used to? Are these old thoughts or feelings that I have about myself, the world and
others good for me? Or are they standing in my way? Do I like thinking or feeling this? ...
Take out the garbage can and sort it all out!
I have one New Year's Resolution: I want to have more fun 2019!! Much more fun! :-)
Very much looking forward to making that resolution “come true”.
And while sorting out my garbage - yes, I still have some – I realised it was high time to not only forgive myself and others again and thereby make peace with myself and them once more (it can sometimes be a process that needs repeating, but it's worth it!), but also that there is one more thing I want to get rid of. One more? Only? Yes. But it's a big one:
I want to let go of my fear. My fear of my old depressions and of falling back into them again, but mostly I don't want to be held captive by fear anymore. I don't want fear to rule me. I don't want fear to keep me from allowing myself to be big and strong or to shine. Not only do I want to let go of my fear of truly being myself, a big, strong, powerful being – just like we all really are – but of fear itself. That is what I'm letting go of.
I wish you a wonderful end to this year of 2018 and the most wonderful, fun and magical 2019 ever!!
Lots of love,
Blog by Camilla Tersmeden
For more information: www.camilla-tersmeden.ch