Everyone talks about it. „Follow your heart!“ they say. Sure! Sounds great!
But what if you don't hear or feel a thing? Really don't know what your heart has to say?
That happened to me. For almost 40 years. And believe me, I am neither ignorant nor shallow. I had just buried my heart so deep down that it couldn't be found, surrounded it by walls and poured concrete over the whole thing. Just like so many people do at an early age to avoid being hurt.
Since then my walls have been taken apart stone by stone. Believe me, it wasn't pretty. But what came forth underneath all the layers of rubbish, identification, conditioning and mindless mind talk surpassed all my expectations!
After months, even years of “letting go” (oh, how I hated these words the Angels kept repeating!), seeing my world fall apart, including the “me” I thought I knew – and held onto for dear life – I was finally free.
The walls came tumbling down and revealed a Self I had never suspected: a warm, content, loving, trusting, beautiful version of myself!
Yes, it sounds a bit like a fairy tale and no, I don't expect you to believe me.
Buddhists call it the “Buddha nature” - the true version of ourselves. They picture it as a diamond (“vajra”) :
A beautiful jewel, spotlessly pure and virtually indestructible. The true nature of the “mind”, as they say and a symbol for the emptiness of all things, that is the true transcendental aspect of all phenomena. For nothing is what it seems. It is all an illusion. Even we are.
No, I am not enlightened. But I am discovering a Self I never knew existed:
A state of being which is not subject to the worries of the mind, the old conditioning from school, society and family, nor the wounds which we have all collected over time.
No, this is a different being: A quiet, warm laugh in my chest, a sun shining brightly, a peaceful knowing that everything will be alright although I have no idea how.
In this state – and the difference from my old “normal” state is very apparent! - I am happier than I have ever been.
No, I am not on drugs, it is not a kind of high, but instead a quiet flow, a being in the moment. One breath at a time. Connected.
We all have this potential. It lies inside of ourselves, a different dimension, a different way of being. We just don't know how to access it. We've locked the door and thrown away the key. It is time to find it again.
Be still. Don't search. Don't run around looking for answers: You have them all inside of yourself. And that is the hardest place to find them – for we are very good at finding things and solutions on the outside, being active in the outside world, but we are pretty bad at just being with what is. Being with ourselves.
Our society teaches us to be productive, to do as much as possible with our lives, not only in our jobs, but also in our free time. We need to fulfil our potential! But what if our potential is set free by us doing nothing?
I'm not saying you need to meditate. I hated it! But then again I thought I needed to quiet my mind. Forget that! Your mind is going to quiet once you don't need it any more.
Till then, just ignore it. Focus on your breathing and if you wish, focus on your heart, that is your Heart Chakra in the middle of your chest. Find a focal point that feels right, breathe into it and relax. That is the most important. Relax. And let go of everything. ;-)
Don’t seek, don’t search, don’t ask
Don’t knock, don’t demand – relax.
If you relax, it comes.
If you relax, it is there.
If you relax, you start vibrating with it.
Monthly Blog by Camilla Tersmeden
For more information : www.camilla-tersmeden.ch